Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Evil Dead Memories

With the EVIL DEAD remake just days away, I've been absorbing all the positive and negative discussions about the film on the web. I watch every trailer and TV spot that comes my way (even if I'm watching something I DVR'd) and I just can't help but get psyched out for this new retelling of an old favorite. I've always been a big fan of the Evil Dead series (I own toys, comic books, and various DVD and Blu-ray releases of the films, plus I've seen them all on the big screen in 35mm!) and though I had myself convinced that I was pretty much sick of them (and remakes), I have to admit that I'm becoming a Deadite all over again with the impending release of Fede Alvarez' take on Raimi's horror classic.

Gah! So. Damned. CREEPY!

What's even cooler? Kids that never even knew the original trilogy existed have been checking them out (mostly via NetFlix) and LOVING THEM. It's cool to see today's youth discovering and embracing these classic comedic Horror flicks and listening intently as I share trivia and notify them that there is in fact a third Evil Dead called ARMY OF DARKNESS.


All this Evil Dead talk lately has been making feel quite nostalgic, so I thought I'd type up a quick blog post and share my past with Sam Raimi's beloved horror trilogy. First, let me kick things off with a confession: I saw EVIL DEAD II first! I originally heard about the film decades ago from a relative of mine. I lived a sort of sheltered life and my mother disapproved of me watching any horror films. (Though, oddly enough, JAWS was ok, as was Q: The Winged Serpent, and various other films featuring dinosaurs, dragons, monsters, and sharks.) My cousin Tony on the other hand, though younger than myself, was allowed to watch all the good stuff. He is the reason I even discovered that Evil Dead existed.

One afternoon as I was hanging out with him, and we were talking about various things that pre-teens discuss (cartoons, toys, Nintendo games, boobies, etc.) when he told me about a cool movie where a guy in a cabin fought monsters with a chainsaw and a shotgun. The concept floored me; I had to see it! But there was no internet, video store visits were patrolled by the parents, and I didn't know anyone who owned a copy. Even if I did, the parental units would have shut down my mission to watch anything involving blood, guts, and human dismemberment.

And then, on a fateful day whilst wandering around a Sam's Club (I was 14 going on 15 at the time), I made an awesome discovery: VHS double features on sale for ten bucks! Already a VHS hoarder with a collection of hundreds of alphabetized cassettes, I was drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Upon glancing over the stacks of movies, one double feature in particular immediately caught my eye: EVIL DEAD II and DAY OF THE DEAD! I felt a rush of adrenaline and grabbed the two tapes! I stared wide-eyed at the covers..... I had finally found my cinematic holy grail plus it came with the sequel to Night and Dawn of the Dead! SURELY A GOD, OR EVEN THE GOD HAD SMILED UPON ME! CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH?! CAN I GET AN AMEN?!!

THE HOLY GRAIL OF A YOUNG, ASPIRING HORROR FAN!
I made an instant beeline to my parents, shoved it at them and begged for it. I'm sure in another universe, young Jordan was told "no," and he never got to experience the awesome that was contained on those two VHS tapes. But in this universe, I was given the standard, "OK, but you gotta do yardwork/chores/homework to earn it," and victory was mine! As soon as we got home, I popped some popcorn, grabbed a soda, and ran upstairs to my bedroom with my treasured VHS tapes. Though I was very curious about DAY OF THE DEAD, I knew which film I would be watching first.

I tore off the plastic, shoved EVIL DEAD II into my VCR, and braced myself for terrors beyond my wildest dreams; for one man's brutal survival against supernatural forces. Imagine my surprise when it turns out that the movie was not all that frightening. Still it was cool as hell, and full of glorious gore, gruesome stop-motion animation, impressive makeup f/x, plus  it was really funny too! (The scene with all the laughing furniture put a big dumb grin on my face!) Once I finished it, I rewound the tape, then watched it again! I was enamored with EVIL DEAD II and couldn't get enough of it! I then decreed that the first one would also be mine!

As time passed, I made sure to share this cinematic gem with others when possible, and made sure to talk it up at every chance I got. Eventually, my friends were worn down by my constant praising of the adventures of Ash, and one night I FINALLY got them to watch it. We crowded into the living room of my buddy Mike's house, and popped the tape in. At first everyone was heckling the movie and taking some potshots at it (threats of tugging it from the VCR were also made), but it quickly began to win them over. When the end credits began to roll they agreed that what I had visited upon then was weird, but that they actually really liked it. (Sadly years later, when I tried to introduce them to Army of Darkness, they were not as receptive. THE FOOLS!)

A few short years later, I reached a milestone in my life: My folks purchased a brand new computer just for me, plus they had a second phone line installed! This was doubly awesome because having my own phone line meant that I could connect to that newfangled internet thing that allowed you to download pictures and videos, and tap into the collective knowledge of humanity. (Plus you could play games over the web and look at porn!) This is when I discovered Sgt. Andrew Borntreger's Badmovies.Org. I had never seen anything like it and I eagerly read through the entire site in a few days. Because of Andrew's awesome online hub of b-movie knowledge, I got my first taste of the original Evil Dead and also discovered that there was a third movie: ARMY OF DARKNESS!

More importantly, my discovery of Badmovies.Org inspired me to learn how to build a website from scratch, and share my opinions and movie knowledge with the world. Because of Sgt. Borntreger, The B-Movie Film Vault exists. He was my muse, provided tips and ideas, and was the first major site to link to my chintzy little Geocities b-movie site. As we joke about from time to time: The Vault is the illegitimate child of Badmovies.Org! For that, I thank you immensely Andrew!

In any case (got a little sidetracked there) I eventually started work at a Suncoast (a dying breed of DVD and movie memorabilia stores that was typically overpriced and terribly managed) just before the big DVD boom hit, and that's where I picked up my VHS tape of Army of Darkness! Naturally I loved it, but the original film that started it all still eluded me. Also, since I was working alongside some hardcore horror fans (who also thankfully introduced me to the films of Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento, and Peter Jackson), I learned that Army of Darkness had an alternate ending (i.e. the original ending that test audiences didn't care for), which I would eventually see for myself when I bought Anchor Bay's "Bootleg Edition" of "AoD," not once, but twice!

For the record, I actually prefer the director's cut with the post-apocalyptic ending. As fun as it is to see Ash battling a "she-bitch" in the aisles of S-Mart, I totally dig the original ending where he ends up sleeping too long and exits his burial chamber to discover modern day England in shambles.

HAHAHA! MANUFACTURED PRODUCTS!
And I did eventually get my paws on THE EVIL DEAD (procured rather cheaply on VHS at Wal-Mart of all places) but my young mind processed it as the weakest of the trilogy. Quite frankly... I hated it.

Now before you shout "HERETIC!" and starting lobbing stones (both literal and figurative), bear in mind that I saw the original film LAST. Both Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness had higher budgets, "splatstick" craziness, and a really cool antagonist that was highly quotable. In the original "Evil Dead," things are played straight for the most part, and Ash is not the one-liner spewing bad-ass we've all come to love and know. It was just too much of a slowburn horror film for me, especially after experiencing its two followups.

Skip ahead to recent years and I now have a definite appreciation for the original Evil Dead (though I still prefer Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness). Considering what Raimi and his buddies had to go through to get that movie made (chronicled in IF CHINS COULD KILL by Bruce Campbell, a damned good book that you should own), and the fact that it was released uncut in theaters and still made a nice profit (take that MPAA!), the film's sequels, continuously growing fanbase, and heck, even its very existence is miraculous!

Since discovering Evil Dead II so many years ago, I have accrued a small collection of Evil Dead-related goodies. My current collection includes: The out of print Army of Darkness Boomstick Edition DVD, Evil Dead (2-disc Limited Edition Blu-ray), Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (the beautiful and non-expensive Lionsgate Blu-ray), Evil Dead and Evil Dead II Book of the Dead Editions on DVD (which are slowly rotting away now in a display case), bootlegs of WITHIN THE WOODS (the short film that Raimi shot in order to get funding for Evil Dead), Evil Dead: The Musical, and Army of Darkness: The Musical, an S-Mart Ash figure, a McFarlane Toys Ash and Evil Ash (Series 3 I believe), an Ashley J. Williams tee from Fright-Rags, and finally a small Evil Dead II poster.

I'm not as hardcore as some Deadites, but I think I occupy a comfortable middle ground. Though my collection may be small, I think the fact that I've worn out/upgraded several items in my Evil Dead collection gives me a definite edge over more casual fans. Just for fun, I've included a tally below of how many times I've purchased each movie, how many Evil Dead-related shirts I've worn out, and how many times I've seen each movie on the big screen.

My Evil Dead tallies:
EVIL DEAD - Saw it once theatrically; purchased it 4 times. (VHS tape, Single disc DVD, Book of the Dead Edition DVD, and 2-Disc Limited Edition Blu-ray).

EVIL DEAD II - Saw it once theatrically; purchased it 5 times. (VHS tape, Anchor Bay DVD, Book of the Dead Edition DVD, Anchor Bay Blu-ray, Lionsgate Blu-ray)

ARMY OF DARKNESS - Saw it once theatrically; purchased it 4 times. (VHS tape, Bootleg Edition VHS tape, Bootleg Edition DVD, 2-disc Boomstick Edition DVD) Note: I will be seeing it again on the big screen on June 8th at the Hudson Horror Show!

Evil Dead shirts worn out: 2. I wore my THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK! and my HAIL TO THE KING BABY! tees so often that the graphics were nearly worn off, and each one was full of holes. Even though they were basically rags when I finally threw them out, it pained me to do it.


So how big is your Evil Dead collection? How many times have you seen the movies? How many times have you bought them? What's your most prized Evil Dead collectible? Have you met Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, or Sam Raimi? Are you stoked for the new EVIL DEAD?! Do you think Raimi and The Chin will actually go through with a second Army of Darkness?! Share your thoughts below or over on Facebook or Twitter!

By the way, EVIL DEAD premieres tomorrow night at 10 PM at most theaters. Get your tickets online or get there early because I think this movie is going to rock the box office!

25th Olense Kartoenale themes: 'Clear Surface Water' & 'Right to a home and some food'

Theme Kartoenale 2013 :
'clean surface water'
Water used for daily activities such as showering, washing-up, cleaning, … is transported via the
sewage system to a wastewater treatment plant. It is purified there making it clean enough to be
discharged into the surface water. In the past, our wastewater was discharged straight into the
waterways. By first treating it, waterways are reviving and humans and animals are rediscovering
the attraction of the water. Living and relaxing in the vicinity of the water, you see it more and
more.
Annual Cartoon Contest – Rules and regulation 2013
1. Participation
All contestants will be admitted with no distinction made regarding nationality or age. There are two
categories:
• Youth category up to 15 years inclusive;
• Adult category: 16 years and older.
Both professional and non-professional cartoonists are allowed to participate in this contest.
2. Theme
The main theme is ‘Clear Surface Water’. Also this year Amnesty International offers a special prize to
the best cartoon with theme ‘Right to a home and some food’.
More information about this theme is to be found in the application form.
3. Entries
• Contributions have to be originally drawn or printed (digital works) cartoons, in black and white or
colour. They shouldn’t contain an explanation of the drawing.
• Photocopies will not be accepted.
• We prefer digital cartoons (JPEG format; resolution of 300 dpi) which can be sent to kartoenale@olen.be. In the foreseeable future only digital work will be accepted. This will be announced
in the regulations.
• Dimensions including any passe-partout 21 x 30 cm (A4).
• Works sent rolled and works larger than DIN A4 will not be returned. The cartoons should be appropriately
wrapped before sending in order to prevent damage.
• Number of entries per contestant: maximum five for each theme.
• Following data should be mentioned on the back of your work: name, adress, age and theme.
4. Property rights
Prize-winning works will become the property of the organizer or theme sponsor. All works selected may
be used by the organizers to promote the contest and the village of Olen.
5. Evaluation
The jury consists of artists, cartoonists and laymen. Decisions made by the jury cannot be challenged.
6. Catalogue/Cartoon book
Selected works will be considered for inclusion in a catalogue. The authors of these works will receive a
free copy of the catalogue during the prize ceremony or it will be send afterwards by mail.
7. Return mail
Return of the cartoons happens only on explicit request of the participant, as mentioned in the entry
form. Every cartoon meeting with the demands but which is not selected for a prize will be sent back
within 18 months. In the foreseeable future contributions will not be sent back to stimulate the submis
sion of digital cartoons.
The organizers will endeavour to handle the return forwardings with the utmost care but cannot be held
responsible for loss or damages.
8. Deadline: 30 September 2013
The deadline is 30 september 2013. The entry form and the cartoon(s) must be sent to:
Olense Kartoenale
Gemeentehuis
Dorp 1
B-2250 Olen – Belgium
kartoenale@olen.be
9. Prizes
For the adult category:
1st prize: 1000 euro
2nd prize: 500 euro
3rd prize: 300 euro
4th prize: 250 euro
5th prize: 200 euro.
For the youth category:
1st prize: 200 euro
2nd prize: 180 euro
3rd prize: 160 euro
4th prize: 130 euro.
Prize of the city of Bialogard (only for Polish participants): 200 euro
Special prize: “poverty and human rights”: 350 euro.
10. Prize Ceremony and Exhibition
The prize ceremony will take place at Friday 15 November 2013 at approximately 20.00 h in the council
room of the town hall of Olen, Dorp 1, 2250 Olen. Every participating artist will be welcome on that occasion.
Only the winners are peronally invited.
A selection of the cartoons will also be exhibited at the same address an can be visited:
• Sunday 17 November 2013
• All working days from Monday 16 November 2013 till the end of December 2013 during the opening
hours of the town hall:
o Monday 09.00 u – 12.00 u 13.00 u – 16.00 u 17.30 u – 20.00 u
o Tuesday 09.00 u – 12.00 u
o Wednesday 09.00 u – 12.00 u 13.00 u – 16.00 u
o Thursday 09.00 u – 12.00 u
o Friday 09.00 u – 12.00 u.
Regulation in languages & Entry-Form: www.olen.be.

Love Beyond the Touch of Love

"...the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him... He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when he hears it, he will answer you. Though the Lord may give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself any more, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" (Isaiah 30:18-21)

Mary of Magdala, whoever you were, whoever you are, you were the first to see the Teacher: first witness to the Risen Christ, and first to be sent, apostle to the Apostles. You, of all people, knew what it meant to cry over the "bread of adversity", to be carried along in the currents of the "water of affliction". But only for awhile, because the Teacher, who was there all the while, opened your eyes to see: "Mary!", "Rabbouni!" -- in an instant, through the intimate bond of a life-changing relationship, in the experience of love.

But what is this he's saying: "Noli me tangere", "Don't touch me, for I've not yet ascended to the Father." Doesn't he love her? Is his body, through some curious new reaction, resistant to human touch? Mary's perplexity is understandable. From our vantage point, centuries later, it wouldn't seem that touch was the problem. Within a few days he'll actually be inviting Thomas the Doubter to explore his hands, feet and side up close and personal. "Oh well," some might conjecture, "the answer is obvious: she's a woman!" Certainly not true. Only look at the Gospel record and see how utterly at ease Jesus is with people, especially women, how a loving touch is a routine part of his manner of ministering to others. Perhaps the Greek translation of "Noli me tangere" conveys Jesus' intent more accurately: "Don't hold on to me, don't cling to me." As beautiful as the human, loving relationship is which they share, there's something much deeper, more enduring, more life-giving.

Jesus immediately sends her with a message for the Apostles: "I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God." But after going to them, her words are simply "I have seen the Lord." The Teacher has opened her eyes and heart to a larger vision, of relationship, of love, of life. His being raised up by the Father for the salvation of the world ("I, when I am lifted up, will draw all to myself.") in the Passion, Resurrection and Ascension, the love shared between God Maker, Lover, and Keeper draws the Risen Jesus back to the Center, like a magnet, so that he might in glory continue what he was originally called to do, and which he described for his followers at their final meal together.

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive... You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you. I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them...Those who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them...I have said these things to you while I am still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you...Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. 28 You heard me say to you, 'I am going away, and I am coming to you.' If you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father...And now I have told you this before it occurs, so that when it does occur, you may believe."

Mary understands. "I have seen the Lord!"

CRUSH comes to DVD & Blu-ray on April 9th!

I recently received a heads-up from Millennium Entertainment that this new horror/thriller is coming to DVD & Blu-ray next week. Check out the synopsis and trailer below!

SYNOPSIS: Millennium Entertainment proudly announces the DVD and Blu-ray release of CRUSH for April 9, 2013. The teen-thriller stars Lucas Till, Crystal Reed, Sarah Bolger, Reid Ewing, Leigh Whannell and Caitriona Balfe and will be available DVD and Blu-ray.

High school heartthrob Scott has it all; good looks, popularity… and a secret admirer. But what starts out as a seemingly innocent crush soon turns deadly. Who's responsible? Scott’s long time friend Jules, frustrated with their platonic relationship? Bess, a shy classmate, increasingly jealous of his friendship with Jules? Or Jeffrey, a bright outcast whose crush on Bess has lead him to become increasingly obsessive? One thing's certain, time's running out and Scott must uncover the psychotic stalker before it’s too late.


The film is rated PG-13, and though it isn't something up my alley (my fiancee would probably enjoy it) I'll admit that it's good to see a woman going crazy over a dude for a change. Far too many times men turn out are the villains in these "Fatal Attraction" type films, so it's nice to see a film telling it like it really is, because WOMEN BE CRAZY!!!! (Just kidding! :: glances around nervously :: )

Once again, CRUSH hits DVD & Blu-ray next Tuesday (April 9th!) and you can pre-order it now at Amazon.com from the links below:

PRE-ORDER THE DVD FOR $26.09!
PRE-ORDER THE BLU-RAY FOR $26.99!

New DVDs & Blu-rays for 04/02/2013!

It is a SLOW week for genre releases, so you can take a breather from all your spending to catch up on bills and maybe even get some groceries. There are a few cool things hitting stores and e-tailers this week, but for the most part, save your money to see EVIL DEAD on the big screen this weekend! Here's what's new:



NEW TO DVD & BLU-RAY
The Baytown Outlaws
Earth's Final Hours
John Dies At the End
Stitches
Tormented 3D


NEW TO BLU-RAY
4-Film Action Pack 4
Bounty Hunters
Marvel Cinematic Universe (10 Disc, 6 Film Limited Edition Collector's Set)


NEW TO DVD
8-Movie Action Pack 6
13 Eerie
100 Ghost Street: The Return of Richard Speck
Badass Showdown
D4: Special Edition
Fangoria Presents: Inhuman Resources
Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes
Hammer Horror Collection (3 Film Set)
Kick
The Name of the Game is KILL
Visible Scars
Wrestling Superstars Collection (Hell Comes to Frogtown, Grunt, & I Like to Hurt People)

Monday, April 1, 2013

Andre Drummond Air-balled back to back free throws


Andre Drummond has put together a great rookie season despite missing a significant amount of time due to a back injury. His averages of 7.5 points, 7.6 rebounds and 1.7 blocks in just under 20 minutes a game have Detroit fans drooling at his skyhigh potential. While we have seen his immense talent come out in force in his rookie campaign, we have also seen his biggest weakness become exposed.  Andre Drummond may be the worst free throw shooter in NBA history.  At a woeful 35% clip, he is the easiest target for the hack-a-player strategy.  When thinking of the worst free throw shooters in league history we always think of Chris Dudley, Bruce Bowen, Shaq, Ben Wallace, Wilt the stilt and Andris Biedrins, but Drummond may be the worst of them all.  Last night he had the unfortunate privilege of airballing back to back attempts:



While the future is bright for this young fella, he has to improve this part of his game if he wants to be a 35 minute a night center. Glad to see him back and healthy though, I can't wait to see his improvement for next season.

NOW PLAYING: G.I. JOE - RETALIATION

Sorry for the late post gang. It being a holiday weekend and all, I found a lot to do on my time off, like yardwork, Easter dinner, the season finale of Walking Dead, the season opener for Game of Thrones, and being sick. Plus, funds are still tight so I didn't bother hitting up the cineplex this weekend, but that's fine by me since there was only one flick I "kinda sorta" wanted to see, namely GI JOE RETALIATION:


The fans were poisonous to the first live-action G.I. Joe flick, even picking apart the most minute of details, like the fact that ice was sinking at the climactic underwater battle in the Arctic. Me? I thought it was dumb fun and didn't tarnish the good name of Hasbro's famous toyline. After leaving the theater I felt content, but my buddy Ryan (owner of Charging Star Comics) did not feel the same way, and went on a twenty-minute tirade about the film on that fateful night. Needless to say, he is passionate about the toys and cartoons of his youth, and felt that a disservice was done to the G.I. Joe brand.

Now along comes a sequel that looks like it's better than the first (Cobra Commander looks like Cobra Commander now, and there's a buttload of ninjas!) and people are still bitchin'! Hahaha. But, that's to be expected; fans of anything get up in arms when Hollywood attempts to cash in on anything from their youth. (e.g. There's a ton of hate out there for the EVIL DEAD remake hitting screens this Friday. Luckily, there's also a ton of love for it too! Expectations are high!)

Personally I want to see this followup to the maligned G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It looks like more dumb fun, but with a little more attention to detail. If anything, I want to see it for the awesome ninja action it promises (and apparently delivers on).

That's all that's new this (past) weekend, but check back on Friday for a complete listing of all the new movies you can see on the big screen, because knowing is half the battle! [G I JOooooooeeeeeee]