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Recycle, Repurpose, Reuse: Making Paper Beads: Great ways to recycle old magazines and other paper into new art. Basic techniques for making paper beads for jewelry, beaded curtains and more. Cost: $10 per adult; child (age 8 or older) with paying adult, $5, 1 hour, materials included.
Thursday, April 22, DAYTIME LUNCH CLASS: 11:30 am
Secrets of Herbal Teas & Tinctures: Tasty and healthy brews. The differences between a cup of tea, medicinal teas and herbal tinctures. How to prepare a medicinal herb tea. Cost: FREE
Thursday, April 22, 6pm.
Introduction to Wicca and Witchcraft. Modern Pagan Witchcraft, often known as Wicca, is a dynamic balance of worship and magic. Emerging from the Western Esoteric Tradition in the middle of the twentieth century, the Craft roots itself firmly in the sacredness of the natural world. Ian Phanes has been a Witch since 1987. Cost: $20 preregistered; $25 at the door.
Saturday, April 24, 1pm
Introduction to Ceremonial Magic. Ian Phanes will teach this class. More details to come. Cost: $20 preregistered; $25 at the door.
Saturday, April 24, 4pm
The Attitude of Gratitude: Learn why adopting an attitude of gratitude is so power and beneficial to personal and spiritual growth and how the simple act of gratitude can change your perspective and your consciousness. Cost: $10.
Wednesday, April 28, 6pm
The Seven Chakras. Learn about the “Wheels of Light,” seven basic energy centers of the body and how they affect our health and well being. Cost: $10 Thursday, April 29, 6pm-7pm
Herbal Medicine Chest and Aromatherapy Workshops coming in May and June
More details to come
Making a Wand for Healing and Focus: Work with crystals, wood and other natural materials to make a wand that you can use to focus your intent for positive changes in your life and surroundings. All materials provided (although you can feel free to bring special crystals or other decorative materials. Cost: $25 pre-registered by April 24, $35 at the door and after April 24
BEADS N’ BOTANICALS Boneyard Arts Festival Events:
Sat, April 17, 2-3:30pm: “Rattle the Boneyard: A Community Drum Circle,” bring drums, rattles or other musical instruments to participate
Sat 3:30-4:30pm: Trikhala, a bellydance troupe made up of UIUC graduate and undergraduate students, will perform choreographed and improv bellydance pieces. The group’s Tribal Fusion dance style mixes American tribal-style bellydance with elements of traditional ethnic bellydance and contemporary dance styles such as hip hop.
Originally Athan Chilton was supposed to demonstrate lampworking beads, however, a broken foot has put her "out of the running" so to speak. We are hoping to schedule a demonstration in the future when she is physically up to it.
In anticipation of the new Clash of the Titans (in theaters now!), I sat down and watched the 1981 original, and waxed nostalgic about Ray Harryhausen's still fairly impressive stop-motion effects in that film. Then I began to fondly recall all of the other mythological and prehistoric beasts that he's brought to life and thought, hey, I should do a quick top ten list to celebrate my favorite Harryhausen creations! But doing something like this is more fun when you include a friend, so I invited Bill Adcock from Radiation-Scarred Reviews to join me in my mini quest to honor a true special effects pioneer, and all around awesome guy.
Now, choosing ten creatures, aliens, monsters, and/or dinosaurs from Harryhausen's impressive filmography was not an easy task, and I found myself really hard-pressed to limit my choices. So before I kick things off, here are some honorable mentions that didn't make the final cut:
THE MINOTON - A golden, mechanical Minotaur that was created by the evil Queen Zenobia to be her "hired muscle" in Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. The poor Minoton does not get to do a whole helluva lot, and ends up getting crushed by a huge stone while serving his creator.
THE DRAGON - Though it defeated the mighty Cyclops in battle, this four-legged, fire-breathing menace from 7th Voyage of Sinbad has since been forever eclipsed by his one-eyed opponent. While the dragon's design is nothing new, Harryhausen's work on this mythical beast is nothing short of fantastic!
THE KRAKEN - Oh yeah, I can hear the complaints now. "The Kraken didn't make it into your top ten? Are you serious?!" Sorry gang, I really enjoy seeing this big boy make his grand entrance in Clash of the Titans, but a huge favorite of mine he is not.
KALI - Egads! Another one that should have made my list, but didn't! This multi-armed menace from Golden Voyage of Sinbad gives the heroic sailor and his crew a lot of trouble, and their battle is one of the greatest sword fights ever rendered on film!
THE YMIR - Yes, he didn't make the list either, though he originally was going to. This has to be the most tragic creature in Harryhausen's filmography, as it comes to Earth only to be poked, prodded, and attacked by just about everyone it encounters, until it eventually flips out and has to be put down. Poor Ymir, we hardly knew ye.
So if those are just the honorable mentions, then what fantastical creatures and beings made the final cut? Well let's take a look!
10. The Flying Saucers Movie of Origin:Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956) Factoid: Tim Burton mimicked the design of Harryhausen's saucers in 1996's sci-fi comedy, Mars Attacks!
In the 1950s, alien invasion films were a dime a dozen. This era in sci-fi film making resulted in numerous classics like The Thing From Another World, War of the Worlds, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and Japanese epics, such as The Mysterians, and The Battle in Outer Space. One of my absolute favorites from this time period though is Earth vs. the Flying Saucers, which featured some of the coolest flying saucers ever put on film! The most impressive thing about the alien ships in the film is that they are in constant movement. (Oddly enough the aliens themselves, realized by men in goofy costumes, are far less interesting than their ships!)
These aren't hubcaps or pie tins on fishing line, these are mechanical harbingers of death that rotate in the air and deliver mass genocide with their satellite dish death-rays! While the destruction caused by the aliens' death rays is impressive, the real showstopper is the climax where the alien ships begin to fall out of the air when humanity rallies against them with a secret weapon. Seeing saucers crash into the Capitol Building and the Washington Monument is more than worth the price of admission, and easily earns the film's flying death machines the number ten spot on this list!
9. The Rhedosaurus Movie of Origin:The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953) Factoid: This movie was based off of a Ray Bradbury short story entitled "The Fog Horn."
When you think of atomic monsters, Godzilla is usually the first cinematic beastie that comes to mind. However, the Big-G and other gigantic atom-age monsters owe a lot of their existence (and success) to the star of 1953's The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms! A (fictional) species of dinosaur known as a Rhedosaurus is awakened from suspended animation after an atomic bomb is tested in the Arctic Circle. Eventually the mighty reptile makes its way to civilization, and throws a prehistoric tantrum when it realizes that us puny humans are now the dominant species on Earth. The dinosaur's rampage finally comes to end at Coney Island, after scientists blast the creature with a gun that fires a special "radioactive isotope."
The Rhedosaurus is one of the first giant monsters from Earth's past to terrorize modern man, following in the footsteps of its forefathers: the totally pissed off Brontosaurus from the original (silent) The Lost World and the immortally beloved giant ape King Kong. The Rhedosaurus was one of Harryhausen's first creations and though it lacked the personality of some of the other creatures he brought to life, it still gets big points for being a huge inspiration to the original creators of Godzilla!
Let that sink in for a minute: Had Ray Harryhausen never created the Rhedosaurus, we may never have had Godzilla! What a frightening idea.....
8.The Giant Octopus Movie of Origin:IT Came from Beneath the Sea (1955) Factoid: To save money, Ray Harryhausen only gave the aquatic horror from this film six appendages instead of eight.
One of the earliest memories I have from my childhood is watching all sorts of awesome classic creature features during TNT's Summer "Monster Vision" marathons, way before Joe Bob Briggs arrived on the scene with his drive-in totals and awesomely busty mail girl, Honey. It Came From Beneath the Sea was one of the usual suspects, and I loved to watch Harryhausen's "hex-topus" trash San Francisco and violently slap fleeing citizens into the pavement with its mighty tentacles. For the uninitiated, IT is a classic tale of nature running amok, due to mankind's careless attempts to further scientific knowledge.
Atomic bomb tests at sea have polluted the food source of a giant cephalopod, and have chased the creature from its territorial waters. Now angry as hell, with a massive hunger to boot, the tentacled terror begins pulling ships beneath the sea and eventually besieges San Francisco, where it wrecks the Golden Gate Bridge! After its daring attack, the Kraken-sized octopus slumbers in San Francisco Bay where it is killed by a specially designed torpedo. IT features some of Harryhausen's best work, which belies the limited budget he had, and has some amazing scenes of death and destruction.
Decades later, film makers still have yet to create a giant octopus film that comes close to this Harryhausen epic with all their fancy CGI technology. (Ok, I'll admit that I found Deep Rising enjoyable, but seriously name me ONE other giant octopus flick that is even remotely in the same league.) Sorry foolish mortals, but you cannot outdo "The Harryhausen" with your soulless machines! Mwahahahaha!
7. Medusa Movie of Origin:Clash of the Titans (1981) Factoid:Clash of the Titans was the last film that Ray Harryhausen and Charles H. Schneer worked on.
Seeing as how the idea for this top ten list was inspired by the remake of Clash of the Titans, you knew that something from the 1981 flick was going to pop up here. Out of all the mythological beasts from the epic original, none impressed me more than Medusa. With her constantly writhing head full o' snakes, her scaly reptilian boobs, rattlesnake tail, and deadly bow & arrow, she was a real terror to behold! Having watched the original recently, I found it to be a bit long and dull in some parts, and though there are all sorts of beasts in this film (a giant Vulture, Pegasus, Calibos, giant scorpions, the Kraken, et al.), Medusa's portion of the film stands out as the most interesting and atmospheric of the bunch. Medusa is one cold, calculated witch, and proves to be the most menacing monster in the film!
6. Talos Movie of Origin:Jason and the Argonauts (1966) Factoid: Talos' design was inspired by Sergio Leone's "The Colossus of Rhodes."
Jason and the Argonauts is probably my all-time favorite Harryhausen flick and boasts one of his most famous and memorable creations: The bronze giant known as Talos. This colossus resides on Crete and is, at first sight, completely harmless. But all that changes when a greedy asshole version of Hercules decides to steal some treasures from the pedestal that Talos is resting on. Said treasures belong to the Greek gods, and as soon as Herc grabs a few items, the mighty Talos awakens and chases after the would-be thief and his shipmates. Jason and his crew quickly set sail in the Argo, but are unable to escape in time as Talos blocks their only route and shakes their legendary boat to pieces. With nowhere to run, Jason and his brave men battle and defeat Talos after discovering its (literal) "Achilles Heel," rebuild their ship, and head back on course for the legendary "Golden Fleece!"
Talos is remarkable to watch, but believe it or not, good ole Ray Harryhausen manages to deliver far more impressive stop-motion monstrosities as this film goes on. You'll be seeing some of them further along, so keep reading!
5. Gwangi Movie of Origin:The Valley of Gwangi (1969) Factoid: "Gwangi" is a Native American word for "lizard."
Dinosaurs and cowboys make for a pretty good combo in Valley of Gwangi, which succeeds where its predecessor Beast of Hollow Mountain miserably failed. Gwangi is a total blast and features a variety of cool creatures, ranging from the adorable Eohippus, to the mighty and vengeful T-Rex. The movie starts off a bit slow, but really picks up once a group of cowboys discovers a hidden valley, blows open the entrance with dynamite, and blindly charges into a prehistoric landscape full of dinosaurs. The biggest and baddest of the thought-to-be-extinct denizens is a T-Rex (or is he an Allosaurus?) named Gwangi, and they manage to capture the ornery carnivore in one of the most astonishing moments in Harryhausen history. (The famous "Roping of Gwangi" sequence!) They bring the dinosaur back to civilization to be put on display, but Gwangi breaks free (of course!) and goes on a rampage until incinerated within the confines of a church.
Cripes! When will people learn that showcasing a giant creature for profit is just a plain old bad idea?!
4. Mighty Joe Young Movie of Origin:Mighty Joe Young (1949) Factoid: Though Willis O'Brien gets top-billing for the effects, Ray Harryhausen did nearly all the stop-motion effects in this film!
With the success of King Kong it wasn't too surprising that other giant ape films would follow. Mighty Joe Young differs from most of those though, because this isn't the usual story of a creature kidnapped from its home and exploited for money. (Though that naturally does happen when Joe is put on display at a nightclub, where he plays tug-of-war with a group of circus strongmen.) Joe is brought over from Africa, willingly enough, by a woman named Jill Young who raised the gorilla since it was a baby. He proves to be quite docile, until one night when a trio of drunks abuse the poor ape, causing it to go well... apeshit!
Joe trashes the nightclub, and fights a pack of lions (what club keeps real lions on display?!) until Jill finally arrives to calm him down. Seeing as how Joe could very well be a menace to society, an order is given to have him "put down." Jill tries to sneak him back to Africa with a little help from some friends, but the plan gets botched and soon Joe is on the loose in L.A.! Luckily, Joe comes across a flaming orphanage, and rescues all the children from the burning structure, thus putting him in the good graces of the law. Unlike the primal fury exhibited by Kong, Joe is quite gentle and Harryhausen does an incredible job of giving this tamer ape some real character and emotion.
And though it wasn't a financial success in its day, Mighty Joe Young has definitely withstood the test of time and is, to me, just as much a classic as the original King Kong.
3. The Cyclops Movie of Origin:The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958) Factoid:7th Voyage of Sinbad was the first feature film utilizing stop-motion animation to be in color!
Out of all the monsters in Harryhausen's Sinbad Trilogy, the most memorable one for me is the Cyclops from 7th Voyage of Sinbad. This single-eyed mythical monstrosity resided on the island of Colossa, and guards a magical lamp that contains a genie. Sinbad the sailor ends up crossing swords with the mighty Cyclops because an evil wizard named Sokurah steals said lamp and turns to Sinbad and his men for protection.
The brave sailors escape, but have to return to that accursed island because Sinbad's love, the beautiful Princess Parissa was turned into a Lilliputian, and a major ingredient for the cure resides high in the mountains of the dreaded isle. Sinbad manages to blind and defeat one Cyclops, but luckily there was a spare elsewhere on Colossa. However, this second Cyclops doesn't fare much better as it ends up taking on Sokurah's dragon (one of the honorable mentions at the start of this article) and perishing.
Poor Cyclops... he was probably only one more day from retirement....
2. The Hydra Movie of Origin:Jason and the Argonauts (1966) Factoid:Jason and the Argonauts was the first 'A' list Ray Harryhausen film, as all his previous movies were double-billed with other "B" movies.
Out of all the Greek myths, one of my favorites was Hercules' battle with the Hydra! Finding that two new heads grew in the place of each one he took, ole Herc was stumped (pun intended!) until his nephew Iolaus said "Hey uncle, use a torch to burn the stumps after you chop off a head." And thusly, Hercules completed his Second Labour. Imagine my delight when I saw Jason and the Argonauts for the first time and saw the multi-headed nightmare come slithering out of a cave to stop the heroic Jason from claiming the Golden Fleece!
Harryhausen's Hydra is yet another testament to his amazing skills, as all seven heads and the creature's tail are constantly moving in some of the smoothest stop-motion animation you will ever see! Although Jason doesn't start lopping off heads, creating an even bigger threat for himself (not to mention a lot more work for Ray Harryhausen), his duel with the Hydra is still extremely satisfying to watch.
1. Skeletal Warriors Movie of Origin:7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958) and Jason and the Argonauts (1966) Factoid: It took Ray Harryhausen a whopping four months to fully animated the skeleton battle in Jason and the Argonauts!
Many of you already "have a bone to pick with me" over some of my choices I'm sure, but very few of you can deny the awesomeness of the amazing re-animated skeletal warriors seen in Jason and the Argonauts and 7th Voyage of Sinbad. In 7th Voyage the evil Sokurah animates a skeleton that was hanging from the ceiling of his dungeon / workshop of mystical wonders.
The skeletal fiend then grabs a sword and shield, and gives Sinbad a lot of grief. However, as it is a skeleton under the control of a magician, it isn't too bright and ends up falling to its doom, off the top of a staircase that leads nowhere! (Ouch, not a good sign when your undead minions die due to bad evil lair designs.)
While that was indeed an impressive display of visual effects for its time (Hell, I still think its incredible!) Ray Harryhausen totally outdid himself eight years later with the "children of the Hydra's teeth," a.k.a. a group of skeletal warriors! Jason and two of his men, Castor and Phalerus, are cornered at some seaside ruins by King Aeetes who suddenly produces a bag of Hydra teeth which he sews across the ground.
The teeth burrow in and seconds later, skeletons armed with swords and shields pop up and begin battling the trio of heroes. Castor and Phelerus fall in battle, and the beleaguered Jason is forced backwards toward the edge of a cliff. Seeing that he has no chance of victory, her takes a leap of faith off the cliff and lands safely in the sea below while his undead attackers simply vanish, never to be seen again.
These bony bastards are my absolute favorite creation by the mastermind known as Ray Harryhausen. Up to this point, Ray's work has been great, but animating over half a dozen skeletons and having them interact on film with flesh and blood actors must have been a daunting task. Thankfully Mr. Harryhausen managed to pull off the effect nicely, resulting in a fantastic battle to the death that will live on in our minds and hearts for many years to come.
For all you who think CGI is the bee's knees, take a look at this awesome display of old school special effects, and respect them! HAIL RAY HARRYHAUSEN, THE KING OF DYNA-MATION!
Well there's my top ten list of my favorite Ray Harryhausen creations! Feel free to comment; share your thoughts and your top ten lists with me. I'd love to see what you have to say! But most importantly, head on over to RADIATION-SCARRED REVIEWS and check out "Bayou" Bill's top ten list! We generally have the same taste in Harryhausen creatures, but I think you'll be pleased to see that our lists remain fairly different!
I'm seeing the new Clash of the Titans tonight, and have my fingers crossed that it doesn't suck, but beforehand I'm going to watch either the original (again) or Jason and the Argonauts in order to get pumped up!
I guess all I have left to say now is..... "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
While Steven Spielberg's "Jurassic Park" had its share of rip-offs (like "Carnosaur"), the film also had an effect on the low budget softcore porn / sex comedy market. Movies like "Dinosaur Island" and "Beach Babes From Beyond 2: Cave Girl Island" popped up, as did an often overlooked movie entitled Dinosaur Valley Girls!
In this film, an action movie star named Tony Markham travels back in time to a prehistoric landscape full of stop-motion dinosaurs, comic relief cavemen, and sex-starved cavegirls in order to meet the girl of his dreams. If you're looking for Oscar-winning performances, amazing special effects, or an engaging storyline go elsewhere. However, if you're a fan of boobs and fart jokes, then this just might be the movie for you!
Check back again soon b-movie fans for another new review (for "Bitch Slap!") as well as a co-op article or top-ten list with my main man Bill from Radiation-Scarred Reviews!
For those of you that frequent the site (and blog), you may recall that I have just recently attended Monster Mania Con XIV and saw the world premiere of Jay Woelful's "Closed for the Season." I didn't go into too much detail about the film on my MM XIV blog posts, (with so much going on, I didn't really have the time) so I decided to take it upon myself to review the rough cut of the movie. "Closed for the Season" is a very surreal horror film and constantly messes with the expectations (and minds) of those who watch it. Keep an eye out for this cinematic oddity as it will be hitting DVD later this year.
Stay tuned for more review action as I attempt to put a dent in this stack of review screeners that has been building up on my desk!
Well I've been home for a few hours; got a belly full of pancakes and sausage, and I'm unwinding a bit before I have to get back to the grindstone at work. This past weekend was quite an experience, and I'm finding myself wanting to go to another convention almost ASAP! It was amazing to meet people I've only seen on film, and though I didn't get to greet all the cult celebs I wanted to, I met enough to give me a lifetime of memories. In any case, here's the rundown of Monster Mania Con DAY TWO and DAY THREE:
I woke up bright and early, intent on getting some grub and hitting up an early screening of "Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives." However, after getting showered up, grabbing cash and my business cards, and then hitting the restaurant downstairs for some breakfast, I totally missed out on that particular film (though I did get to see Malcolm MacDowell and several "My Bloody Valentine" guests chowing down nearby).
After Tara and I had our fill of the delicious breakfast buffet, we wandered off to find Dan and Bill from Radiation-Scarred Reviews. Since they ran back up to their room after breakfast, Tara and I decided to wander into the main Ballroom and take in the final twenty-five minutes of "Silver Bullet," which was part of a tribute to the late Corey Haim.
After watching Gary Busey get tossed around by a lycanthrope that is shot in the eye with a silver bullet by cripped Corey, we finally managed to meet up with the "R-SR guys" and take in a few movies up on the mezzanine level of the hotel. Movie number one was the awesomely fun "House" starring William Katt. Surprisingly my two fellow internet movie scribes had never seen this movie, so it was a treat to watch their reactions to the supernatural shenanigans of this beloved cult classic.
This was quickly followed up with a screening of "Night of the Creeps" which surprisingly had the original "alternate" ending where Tom Atkins' crispy corpse unleashes some brain slugs into a cemetery. (Sorry if I ruined that for anyone.) Once again, I was shocked to discover that Dan had never seen "Night of the Creeps," and I was happy to be present for his moment of "Thrill Me" cherry-popping!
After "Creeps" ended, our foursome took a break and parted ways for a half hour, then rejoined our forces to take in another screening of Jay Woelfel's "Closed for the Season." I was more than happy to see that this screening was packed with people, and a lot of them stayed put this time. Even better, there were no issues with the film this time, so the show kicked off on time.
The movie was still the two-hour cut we saw the previous night, but this time the picture and audio quality were far superior. (Gone were the "too dark" night shots that were a bit confusing during the film's initial screening.) The film still has a ways to go before it is ready for the general public, (I'm thinking a twenty minute chunk should be cut out... though that would be hard to do since there are scenes that are referenced and re-referenced throughout the film.) but the second screening was far more fulfilling and understandable.
After the movie ended, they did a quick Q&A session and revealed that there were some neat scenes that didn't make it into the current cut (and may not be in the final cut) of the movie, and shed a little light on the strange plot of this mind-boggling independent feature. After all was said and done, Bill, Dan, Tara, and I chatted it up with Jay, and got a few pics with the infamous director of "Trancers 6."
Jay Woelfel photo-op after the screening of "Closed for the Season."
At this point, the various Q&A panels were going on downstairs in the ballroom (sadly I missed out on the "Night of the Creeps" reunion panel amongst others), but instead of heading down there, we all ordered some pizza and convened in Bill and Dan's room to nerd out. After chowing down on some Domino's, Bill and Dan snuck off for a secret Low Budget Pictures screening of "Filthy McNasty 4" and met director Chris Seaver.
With nothing better to do, Tara and I grabbed some seats in the main screening room and caught "Return of the Living Dead." I haven't seen it in years, and truly fell in love with this parody of zombie flicks all over again. After the film ended, we went downstairs and waited outside of the main ballroom to see Charles Band's Full Moon Road Show!
Gary Busey suddenly showed up in his PJs (no ice cream this time) to investigate the area and inquired about what's going on. (Or most likely inquired if that "bastard" Charlie Band was in the room at the moment! Hahahaha.) I said hello to "crazy Busey" as he walked by and got a genial "Hey!" from everyone's favorite mad-man.
Not too soon after Gary's departure, Charles Band arrived and filmed everyone standing in line, then vanished back into the ballroom where Dario Argento's Q&A was coming to a close. Ten minutes later, Tara and I got into the (already nearly full) ballroom and managed to save to chairs for Dan and Bill, who were about a mile back in the line.
Once we were seated, we discovered that things were starting to run behind, and sadly Charles Band had to greatly shorten his usually two-hour long show. You could try and blame Dario Argento but really it was because it took the event coordinators A FULL HALF HOUR TO SEAT EVERYONE AND PACK THE ROOM DANGEROUSLY BEYOND CAPACITY! But you know what? It was all freakin' worth it for this:
The show kicked off with the awesome promo reel seen above and people were going nuts, especially when the guitar solo from Guns N' Roses "November Rain" kicked in. Once that ended, the lights came up and Charles took the stage and WOWED the audience with humorous anecdotes about his career, which included his major breakthrough with "Ghoulies" and how the advertisements featuring the creature in the toilet stopped an entire generation of children from being potty-trained, and some great stories involving Gary Busey on the set of "Gingerdead Man."
He followed this up with a promo for the upcoming "Puppet Master: Axis of Evil" (available on DVD and Blu-ray March 15th - check out www.fullmoondirect.com for more details!), and then brought BILL MOSELEY up on stage for some fun! (They worked together on a little futuristic cyborg cheapie called "Crash and Burn.") He then auctioned off an authentic "Puppet Master" chest, full of puppets, for $450 and then a custom built electric chair that was onstage for (I believe) $150, then got to the final act of his truncated show.
Charles finished things off with a little "play" up on the stage made up of volunteers from the audience. It would take a while to explain the gist of the play in full detail but essentially a girl in a werewolf costume (Susan) was the villain, sentenced to death in the electric chair for her/its crimes. The hero of the piece was a musclebound dude named Scott who played the werewolf's brother, while the damsel in distress who gets felt up by the "hero" was played by a busty model named Violetta. And oh yeah, there's a naughty nurse (Meelz? Is that really your freakin' name?) up there for good measure.
Charles gives directions to his cast of characters!
So the plot goes like this: Werewolf is getting fried, sees brother molesting lesbian lover, breaks its bonds, kills brother, prepares to leap into the audience to go on a murder spree, and can only be calmed down by the bare breasts of its chesty lover. And oh yeah... there's a naughty nurse there too.
As a newcomer to the onstage antics of Charles Band I was surprised to see this little scene play out THREE times (they didn't quite get things right the first two times) with Violetta unleashing her hooters to a cheering audience each time! I was shocked, enthused, and amused by this, and luckily got it on (grainy) video! (Said video will be available to all the Vault's FACEBOOK fans within another day or two, so BECOME A FAN OF THE B-MOVIE FILM VAULT FACEBOOK PAGE if you want to see it!)
After roaring applause, Charles exited stage left, and headed off to sell Full Moon swag (at 50% or more off!), meet fans, and sign EVERYTHING he could. He was a very personable fellow, and took time out to talk to everyone and sign everything, AND he even went as far as to apologize to the lengthy line of eager fans multiple times.
He apologized to me personally once I got up to meet him and I told him "Hey, no worries Charles... you showed us boobs! We're grateful!" I ended up getting the "Trancers: Definite Collection," "Gingerdead Man," "Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust," "Puppet Master Legacy," and "Laserblast" ALL SIGNED, for a mere $45.00! Wow, what a guy! After meeting Charles, Tara and I parted ways with Bill and Dan and hit the hay.
MONSTER MANIA XIV: DAY THREE The next morning I got an early phone call from Bill, wishing me a safe trip, then prepared to hit the road myself. After a hot shower, I helped Tara take all our stuff out to her car, then headed back inside to scope out the vendors' goods one last time. I ended up getting a screener of "Zombie Hunters: City of the Dead Vol. 1" along with bootlegs of "Alligator II" and "Blood Beach." Afterwards, I double-checked to see if maybe, just maybe I could sneak in and see Gary Busey, but the line was once again too damned long. And so, after some debate, we finally left the Crowne Plaza Hotel in search of food.
And that's pretty much the end of the story folks. While I had originally planned on staying the entire day on Sunday, I realized that I (along with Tara) was completely exhausted. Even though we left earlier than anticipated, it was definitely the best course of action, because driving back through Philly is a bitch and a half, especially if you try to do it during rush hour. And somehow, we managed to miss all the tollbooths from Philly to Scranton. As a result, we had to pay a whopping $29.30 to pass into Scranton at the final tollbooth. (F*CK-ING BULLSHIT!)
Once at Tara's, we told our stories to her folks, showed off our swag and pictures, then settled down and watched "Gingerdead Man 1 & 2" before calling it an early night. Now I'm home, and unfortunately have to get ready for work. It's been a crazy couple of days, and I look forward to regaling everyone at the workplace with tales of Gary Busey's insanity, of memorabilia I obtained, and of the kindly stars that I got to meet and greet for twenty bucks an autograph!
Do I have regrets? Well yeah: I missed all the Q&A panels and didn't meet everyone I wanted to, but you know what? There's always next year! (Or this Summer if I can pull together another $800.00 by August 22nd!) I gotta run b-movie fans, so have a great day! I hoped you enjoyed my coverage of Monster Mania XIV, and really hope that I have in some way convinced you to attend one of these conventions! It's expensive, and can be a total pain in the ass, but in the end, its definitely worth it!
Stay tuned for some Monster Mania related movie reviews and be sure to check out my buddy Bill's Monster Mania coverage over at his blog!
